Aku Pasrah... 

Credit to FB: Blog Teh Secawan  - sesuai sgt dgn situasi ku kini... :(

'Apabila engkau berada di tempat yg mana ramai orang yg memuji engkau,maka ketahuilah engkau dlm bahaya.Apabila engkau berada di tempat yg mana ramai orang yg menghina dan mencela engkau tetapi engkau bersabar,ketahuilah itulah tempat yg lebih selamat dan menaikkan darjat engkau di sisi Allah Ta'ala... '

Aku tak tahu ape lagi yg perlu aku buat. I think I've done my best to be a good superior.  Sebab aku pernah jadi budak baru, pernah berada di tempat mereka satu ketika dulu, dan masih lagi... As a subordinate to support ur immediate superior... Aku tak nak mereka rasa apa yg aku rasa... 

Dulu dan masih lagi, semua aku kene cari sendiri... Boss just bagi arahan. Sendiri laa kene carik who should I liaise with, who has the information that I need, who own the system that I need to deal with, vendor's contact, all the procurement process, sample paper, SAP procedure etc... Sume buat sendiri..  Bukan aku je yg mcm tu, my other colleagues pon... semua carik sendiri.... Tapi aku rasa, dgn cara ini kami cepat belajar...  dan dpt work on our own with minimal supervision from our immediate superior... TQVM to all my bosses!

Ade ke aku tanya kat boss,  vendor mana nak contact, database mana, table mana, script mana saya perlu check to complete the tasks that he had assigned to me... Bila meeting, sape yg nak kene panggil...Tak Pernah! Again, semua carik sendiri...  Sebab rasa segan nak tanya boss, sbb pk boss assigned to me to look for him. Aku plak tanya dia  mcm mana nak buat...Pandai2laa tanya vendor, tanya other colleagues, tanya other bosses, google the net...  Tapi kadang2, bila dah sangkut/blank, refer balik pada boss with all the findings yg ada to get his advise..... Masa mula2 masuk kerja, I'm IT background, tapi kene buat networking.. Tak ke haru??? Alhamdulillah, I've managed to handle all the tasks assigned with minimal guidance from immediate superior + support from senior and colleagues. Masa mula2 buat keje yg aku buat sekarang, I'm '0' on Unix and scripting, now Alhamdulillah.... Again, semua carik sendiri.. Training, surfing the net etc.... To give not only the quantity, but quality results to assist and support my immediate superior... and until now I'm still doing what I'm doing.... selagi makan gaji. Cari rezeki utk family dan anak2....

But now, I've given them almost 70% of the information ; 30% more for them to search by their own.. Itu pon nak kate aku tak beri tunjuk ajar lagi??? Takkan dah suap sampai ke mulut, nak kene tlg kunyahkan jugak?

Dulu, aku pernah ada colleague yg everyday kene brainwash by her immediate superior. Satu office boleh dgr..Sian dia, dan kadang2 she almost want to cry.. So, I don't want my subordinates to be treated like that.  Aku tak nak mereka malu, mereka nangis, rasa takut dgn aku...Keje pon tak fun...That's why, I've take the first step dgn tegur secara slow kalau ada mistake yg dibuat via email, text, etc. since there were still room for improvement for her. If I think masanya dah sampai, face-to-face is required like what I've done with one of my subordinate previously and I think it's work. She's shown some improvement, although it's quite slow, but there were somethin'. Aku tak mengharapkan drastic changes.. at least, she tried.... Bila aku buat mcm ni, aku plak di panggil pompuan bermuka2???

I know that all my subordinates are fresh, semua masih baru. That's why, mana yg aku boleh buat sendiri, aku buat dulu... yg mana aku boleh cover, aku cover even masa dlm meeting pon, aku tlg jawabkan any questions thrown to them bila nampak mcm diorang mcm tak yakin/tak tau... Even masa cuti raya baru ni, aku tlg coverkan keje one of them...Masa aku dulu, ada mcm tu? Ingat lagi, peknen 7 bulan.. esok nak raya, terhunggih2 pegi CBJ dari Senawang sebab sistem ada problem. Sebab tak nak boss yg tlg buatkan... Pernah masa meeting, kena marah/perli dgn boss depan vendor sebab lambat buat keje., kene marah dgn GM..Malu tau! Tapi sket pon aku tak amik hati dgn my boss...Itu memang salah aku, I need to accept it..Skang, ade aku buat mcm tu pada diorang... ade ke? Yg mana aku boleh buat sendiri, aku buat sendiri... yg mana aku boleh cover, aku cover...

Tapi tak boleh mcm tu selalu, mcm mana diorang nak blaja.. Then, I tried to delegate some of the tasks that I think they manage to handle it.. Kalau tak faham/tak clear, please come and see me. Ini tak, bila I explain nampak mcm faham.. aku ingatkan fahamlaa.. Takde plak datang minta explain lagi skali... Aku lalu lalang belakang, takde plak panggil aku tanya ape mende yg tak paham...What they expect me to do? Duduk sebelah diorang, belai2 tanya satu persatu faham ke idak.... Jenuh aaa aku.... Kalau memang 1 pojek tu je aku nak tgk, boleh kot aku buat mcm tu.. Ini 3/4 projects serentak with the same RFS date dgn pelbagai masalah yg timbul... With all the papers,  presentations, supports for other units., system problems... Hope you understand my situation tho'.....

I know a lot that they need to learn. Aku pon tak mengharapkan a fantastic job from them. Cukup hanya dgn they show me their willingness to learn. Aku taknak org lain bercakap pasal anak buah aku. Aku iye2 marah vendor; tak competent, slow etc... Tapi anak buah sendiri???

Masa berlaku ketidak-adilan utk anak buah ku, I've confront the superior to get the explanation although my action won't change the results since I've no power... Ingat senang ke nak amik that action?? It's jeopardize my career maaa, lebih2 lagi buat aku yg masih baru on this post., masa tu tak confirm lagi plak tu....Buatnya my immediate boss ambil hati dgn tindakan aku ni, sbb bantah decision dia... tak ke naya? Tapi demi anak buah, I've took the risk.... :( 

Panjang plak aku berceloteh ye.. Aku bukan nak mengungkit ke, ape ke.. Ape yg aku buat semua ikhlas....  Tapi aku sedih.. Sebak.....Aku tau, problem with immediate superior memang akan ada.. Tak puas hati dgn boss, tak suka dgn boss etc... I admit it because sometime aku pon  pernah ada rasa mcm tu... Dan situasi ni ada di mana2... It's normal. Tapi tak pernah skali2 aku keluarkan kata2/gelaran yg tak baik pada boss.. Seriously, tak pernah.... Tapi bila aku di 'taik' kan, di panggil 'pompuan bermuka2' oleh anak buah sendiri??? 'Pompuan' tu, bukan Perempuan! Aku Sedih + Kecewa.. lepas apa yg dah aku buat utk diorang.. Ibarat mcm anak sendiri yg ckp mcm tu..... Hilang sudah rasa kakak-adik yg aku pupuk selama ini.... Kalau tak hormat aku sbg boss pon, tak boleh ke hormat aku sbg org yg lebih tua?

Jgn risau, I'm profesional. I will not take this personal. Kalau u betul perform, u deserve what u deserve to get. But beware, kalau sebaliknya berlaku.... Tapi, hati ini dah tawar...That's it! Sorry to say,  no more akak-adik relationship between us. Only subordinate-superior...I think I will not do what I've done previously mcm yg aku citer kat atas ni.. Mungkin cara my boss treat me is the best. Just bagi instruction, pandai2laa u all carik on how to execute and complete the tasks as what had been assigned. We'll see...


Lesson learnt to me: Buat baik tak semestinya di balas baik.... So Mazuina, you better watch out!... 

Aku Pasrah!

*** Tak semua anak buah ku seperti apa yg aku citer kat atas ni; ada yg masih boleh perform and do well with minimal supervision from me... Tau, dah siap....Kalau ada major problem je, dia will get my advise and I assist dia to resolve the problem....Kalau dia boleh, knape ko tak boleh??? Siapa yg bermasalah kat sini? Aku ke ko?